And the frustrating thing is that misconceptions don't just originate within the straight community.Despite the "B" in LGBTQ, some gay people will express deep reservations about dating bisexuals.The issue is usually to do with worries about "trendiness" (no person wants to be an otherwise straight person's gay "experiment" as they try to look cool) or about long-term orientation; as some gay people originally identified as bisexual throughout the course of their coming out, it can be seen as a "phase" or "in-between" zone, a less serious orientation that represents a person either deluded about their straightness or uncomfortable with their gayness.Bisexual identification isn't actually all that flexible (in the 10-year study I mentioned before, only 8 percent of the women had changed their orientation from bi to something else by the end).And yet 47 percent of them, nearly half, would rather not date a bisexual, thank you very much.
You meet a cute guy in at a party and start talking. You start going on dates and you’re having a good time, but in the midst of pillow talk, he tells you that he’s bisexual.
Some don't come clean about it until a little way into a relationship; others, like me, deliberately test the waters on the first date by mentioning ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, to see if the person has any issues.
(I did this so successfully on my first date with my now-husband that he assumed I was gently hinting that I was a lesbian and therefore not interested.
"Bisexual women are often assumed to be in it to titillate men, whereas bisexual men are assumed to be gay men who are not brave enough to come out as gay," Meg John Barker of Bi UK told Refinery29 back in May.
This exposes the problematic situation for bisexual men in its full light.