But that did not make me love him any less, and did nothing to tamper the absolute devastation that pummeled me when we broke up. I’ve known Kirsten for 12 years, and even though she lives on the other side of the country, we remain very close and she knows all my shit. As I talked and sobbed and blubbered and talked some more it all came out.
Even months after we split, Sundays when my kids are with their dad and I would have otherwise spent with my ex-boyfriend, I instead engaged in unseemly behavior like walking around the streets of Manhattan while bawling uncontrollably, listening to John Legend on a loop and reading the Wikipedia page on Carrie and Mr. Not only was all this embarrassing, it was also incongruous with the events at hand. Besides the end of my relationship, my mom has been unwell.
His sense of entitlement is boundless and you will be maligned and disparaged and anything, any crumb you get will be too much for you. If you are not on title of the house, make sure you do this.
In his mind, you are worthless, you deserve nothing. Get a support group of therapists, friends, family members.
We are dealing with narcissists who are already damaged and primed to do battle. He or she may want to punish you and this can go on for a very long time.
Often the abuser who sees he is losing control will escalate the methods of control and abuse.
It feels like too much.“We’ve all watched you over the past few years be so strong and amazing,” Kirsten said.
The lies will be bolder and he may manipulate with more intensity. Continued use of the legal system may now be available to him.
He will deplete assets to pay attorneys to continue the battle ad nauseum.
But I’m not sure I fully felt the gravity of my loss – our loss. Read: Best dating sites for single moms (and tips for how to find the best guys)Finally, I recognized that three years’ worth of grief had come knocking.
For months after that conversation, I gave myself permission to mourn.