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My golden rule in dating is a warm, but unpopular invitation to — has dried out and gone stale in your life.

But to be accountable is to be authentically, deeply, consistently known by someone who cares enough to keep us from making mistakes or indulging in sin.

For many of us, if we’re honest, it really doesn’t matter who’s offering the advice as long as it confirms what we thought or wanted in the first place.

We think we’re leaning on others as we wade into all the material online, but we’re often just surrendering to our own cravings and ignorance.

The people willing to actually hold me accountable in dating have been my best friends.

I’ve had lots of friends over the years, but the ones who have been willing to press in, ask harder questions, and offer unwanted (but wise) counsel are the friends I respect and prize the most.

These guys didn’t guard me from every mistake or failure — no one can — but they played a massive role in helping me mature as a man, a boyfriend, and now as a husband.

And I wish I would have listened to them more in dating.

They have relentlessly pointed me to Jesus, even when they knew it might upset me — reminding me not to put my hope in any relationship, to pursue patience and purity, and to communicate and lead well.The scary reality is that we can find an answer somewhere to justify what we want to do — right or wrong, safe or unsafe, wise or unwise.The advice we choose might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at church, or a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on Pinterest.Most people will float along with you because they’re excited for you, but you need a lot more than excitement right now — you have plenty of that yourself.You desperately need truth, wisdom, correction, and perspective.

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