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Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment (or put-down), giving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy.I wrote a whole 280-page book about that, so that's a story for a different day. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being and therefore don't act like one.Because heaven knows that the amoeba, worm, fish, amphibian, monkey and primitive hominids didn't do a whole lot of thinking.

The writing of the books was precipitated by the endemic dating woes on the Harvard campus as I observed them as an advisor and, earlier, indulged in them as a student.

At some point in your life, you got pegged as a smart person.

From then on, that was your principal identity: The Smart One.

Ivory Towers is the leading online dating site and matchmaking service for single graduates in the UK and Ireland.

Since we started in 2004, thousands of postgrads from Oxbridge and beyond have found love, friendship and marriage through Ivory Towers.

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