One couple I talked to experienced these differences profoundly.
Vicki grew up as the daughter of an upper-level manager while her husband John grew up the son of two factory workers.
Few people I spoke to reported having parents who plotted against their children’s relationships, or felt they were subject to social stigma for their cross-class relationship.
In fact, it’s usually not until meeting their in-laws that the couples themselves tend to become aware of their differences: more privileged partners spoke of the shock of walking into a house with hundreds of crystal figurines or trying to eat spam with a smile.
Vicki also had her children’s lives planned before they were born – they would be good students and involved in many extra-curricular activities.
John believed he should meet his kids before deciding on how to parent them and that it was not his place to decide who they should become. ” and saying of John, “For him, it’s ‘It will always work out. Don’t worry.’” Most of the couples I spoke with found ways to work out these differences, and their lives were much more mundane than a movie would dramatize.
John thought their kids could figure out how to pay for college when they were older, just as he and Vicki would figure out how to retire in the years to come.The sun was shining, familiar jokes had left a smile etched on my face and I just couldn't get over the deals I was seeing (three green peppers for a dollar?! As conversations held by females in their mid-twenties sometimes do, our chat turned to dating.My friend, a dedicated medical school student who fits the type-A personality description to the fullest, started explaining about how she thought guys were intimidated by her.Vicki, a teacher, plotted how to become a superintendent.John, a restaurant manager, kept his eyes open for opportunities but did not plot how to get from one job to another.