What should matter more is the fact that the person you love is hurt, and you can be sorry for hurting him even if you don’t fully understand where he is coming from.
If he did something that hurt you, try to express that to him in a way that doesn’t make him feel attacked.
It can seem like a relationship is that one missing piece and once you have it, you will finally have it all.
Then maybe you meet a guy, you click, you start dating, and all seems to be running smoothly until certain unpleasant realities of being in a relationship start to creep in, either slowly and by degrees or quickly and all at once.
Maybe you are right and maybe you do want to “win” the argument, but if you end up tearing each other down to do it, then you both lose.
Sometimes, you just need to suck it up and say, “I’m sorry we fought” or “I’m sorry you were hurt.” Maybe you think he is being irrational and you don’t think he’s justified in feeling the way he’s feeling, and maybe you’re right, but it doesn’t matter who’s right.
That time he blew off date night to hang out with his friends … He usually won’t mean it; he may not even realize something he said or did was insensitive or hurtful. Sometimes you can get over something on your own (especially if it was something innocent that you overreacted about because of your own insecurity), sometimes an apology is necessary, and sometimes a serious “relationship talk” is needed.
A relationship is a partnership, and having a partner is amazing in many ways, but it also means there is someone else in the picture who matters.
And like you, he also comes with a fair amount of baggage, issues, unresolved pain from the past, etc.
This is totally achievable when you’re coming from a place of genuinely wanting the relationship to work and wanting to connect and share your perspective with him so the relationship will improve, and not from a place of trying to be the victor.
Sometimes he’ll do something that hurts you, and you’ll think he was completely in the wrong, while he’ll think you’re in the wrong for being upset.